Why did it change, you ask?
My life changed because of the time I got to spend in Brisas del Mar, Colombia.
Our trip was from February 9-17. We had planned for months our time in that small village and what our agenda would be. For me, I had been planning before most of the other team members because God had shaping me to be a part of that experience for a couple of years. I just didn't realize it until the trip came and I was there.
The truth is, I could fill multiple blogs about my experiences in Brisas. To put it into a summary is more challenging than you can know.
My friend Kristen had attended the trip 3 times prior to my going. Each time, she asked me to join her, but each time, I was not in the right place spiritually or mentally to be a part of that. I prayed for her, and I watched God transform her life, but it wasn't my time. When I finally decided my time had arrived, it was not time for Kristen to be a part of it any longer, but I knew without a doubt God had that laid out for me, so I began to walk the road of the mission trip.
I didn't know anyone on the team. I didn't attend that church. I wasn't even a part of that denomination. But none of that mattered. When God places a calling on your heart, obeying Him allows Him to do a whole new work in life.
There were bumps a long the way, but I want to share those as well.
Raising money was a fear of mine. Now, when God calls me to do something, I ought to know He's going to pave the way. However, I am a compulsive worrier, so I was concerned about raising enough fund. I began my journey of that in July of 2016. It wasn't until later August I saw my first donations come in. And then a little more. And little by little, He provided. This was a slight challege I faced that others did not, per say, in the sense that I was going with a group no one in my church was familiar with. Therefore, the support system I had was very different from those who were going from churches connected to the mission.
I needed to have $500 by the end of October, and I was crawling that way, but hadn't reached that amount. If I didn't reach it, I would have to cover it, as tickets needed ordered. I hesitate to share this piece of the journey, as it is not one that has been too public. But it's such a part of the journey, I feel like its truth helps paint the picture of obedience to God.
In that time, I felt like God was asking me to fast. Now, I like food, so fasting is an act I groan inwardly about when I feel God laying it on my heart. I kept asking God, "Are you sure?" and He kept saying yes. So, one day a week, I began fasting. As I began doing this, little did I know how He was not only going to answer my prayers about funding, but He was transforming me. I didn't used to understand fasting, but after this experience, I see the validity. It's not that you always see results on the day of fasting. But over time, I look back, and I know how much that obedient gesture changed me. I embedded myself deeper in prayer and my faith grew in ways I can't explain. Not only that, but He was reshaping me and how I saw myself.
Fast forward. I needed my final amount by January (I believe). I was nearly $300 short. I kept praying and striving to trust and kick away that nagging fear. And the last week of December, I got a check for the exact amount I needed. I couldn't believe it! Although I should not have been surprised. God answers prayers. We just have to wait sometimes so He can teach us in the process.
As February approached, I was not nervous. I was elated to get going on this journey. A week or so before we left, we had our last team meeting. I hesitated in going, as the meeting were an hour away for me and I knew soon I would be gone for the trip, so I was balancing the cost and effect on my family. However, I felt like I needed to be there. And wow... that meeting was a marker in my life I won't forget. As Pastor Ed broke bread and we took communion together, we were "commissioned" to go to this little village. I felt so unworthy, yet on that day, I know God was telling me He had called me to be a part of the trip. I cried through most of the meeting, as I was finding healing I needed, and I was learning to let go of old thoughts and feelings and ways. I left that meeting, driving home, crying most of the way. Not out of sadness, but out of freedom, knowing that I was truly on a path God had laid out for me.
On February 9, we embarked on our trip. I still didn't know what to expect, but I was elated to see it unfolding. I still didn't know much of my team yet, but that was about to change. I was ready to be immersed in hard work and new people.
You guys, I could fill pages here to tell you about the experience.
We worked hard in the hot sun to help build what will become their church.
We put on youth events.
We held children's programs.
We gave supplies for the clinic and watched them open those supplies with tears in their eyes.
God had provided in hundreds of ways.
Our team bonded. I hadn't felt that type of bond for many years. Watching God work. Seeing prayer be answered. Hearing stories of lives being changed.
The people of Brisas del Mar have been devastated by the drug wars of their country. they are poverty stricken and at times have reasons to fear for their lives. However, that is not what you see when you enter their village.
We stepped off the bus into Brisas and I immediately felt at home. I was embraced by people who didn't know me. I was welcomed by all ages. I was made to be a part of their family.
They have nothing.
But they love with everything.
I thought I was going there to help them. Little did I know how much they would help me.
I got to serve as a translator of sorts. I wasn't the official translator, but I know enough Spanish that I got to bounce around like a ping pong ball at times, helping translate conversations. I had so much fun immersing myself in their culture and their language. I had the opportunity to teach the youth lesson in their native tongue, with a little help from our team translator, Paola. That was a stretching experience, but one I will never forget.
The people of Brisas del Mar helped me see Jesus in a whole new way, and I thought I was supposed to be doing that for them. I bonded with a young girl named Mileth, and we spent much time swapping words and learning about each other. I stayed up late with my teammates, talking about the experiences. I could hardly get through those moments without crying, because as I was there to serve the Lord and help the people of Brisas, at the same time, God was moving me. He was healing my heart and opening my eyes to Him in all new ways.
It's so hard to put into words how this little village changed my life forever.
They taught me to love again without fear of response.
They taught me that who I was was accepted and loved.
They taught me that my first world concerns were piddly compared to their third world problems.
I came home wanting to embrace these new experiences and thoughts and changes.
So, 6 months later, I have been reflecting on my trip and how it changed me. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't look at at least one of my Colombia photos. When I see them, I am reminded of finding myself again, after years of having been fighting against God's plan for me. I see the smile on my face, and I remember that is who I am.
I am reminded that my worries are not as great as others'.
I see how God has used that trip and those people to change me forever.
How are those changes playing out now, you ask?
When I was a young girl, I wanted to be a missionary in the Spanish speaking culture. I moved away from that plan, but my trip to Brisas resurrected that interest. I had been praying (and fasting) leading up to my time there, and I felt impressed on my heart while I was in Brisas that I needed to go back to that path somewhat. I have a family and can't just up and go. But, I am on the road to obtaining my degree in Spanish now officially, so that one day I can serve as a translator- however God may see fit. I am finally pursuing what God laid on my heart 15 years ago.
My spending habits have shifted. I experienced a village where people have nothing. They wear clothes that are given to them or teams bring in and leave. They drink water that is not clean- it's the color of urine, to be honest. They eat what they grow. And they don't have beds. It's unreal and unimaginable to most of us. Only seeing it can really help you understand it. As an American, it's hard to taper that on-demand button we have. But I have been working on that. I am fortunate to have what I have. I'm not perfect at this, but it did change me.
Most importantly, I found healing in Colombia. Healing from my past and hope for my future. Healing from hurts and hope for my heart. Amazing- I went there to give them hope and I left with dreams bigger and a heart more full. God works in mysterious ways.
Lastly, my daughter now, 6 months after my time there, is beginning to say she wants to be a missionary. Prior to my trip, she hadn't had much exposure to that world. It's not me who is doing that- it's God. And I can't wait to see how it unfold.
God used Brisas to change my life. I don't know if He will allow me to go back, but whether or not I do, the people there left an impression on my heart that will never be the same again.
